Probably because I’m waiting to hear from grad school… waiting, waiting, waiting.  A few other friends are waiting to hear back on various things in their life too: grad school, med school, jobs, relationships, pregnancies, summer plans, upcoming weddings, completing a dissertation, and the list goes on.

I was talking to one of these friends a few nights ago and we were laughing how there is always something to wait for.  “That’s just it,” she said.  “Learning the art of waiting well.”  How true.  These things we wait for, regardless how big or small they seem, are for more than themselves.  They are there to strengthen and refine, test and try, to make us more patient, more humble, more loving people.  At least that’s what I want God to do with this season of waiting.

Even after I have my answer, another season of waiting is sure to come.

Yes, waiting is good for you… but it’s hard. 

Yesterday I found out that I’ve been put on the waiting list for grad school.  There are three spots offered in rhetorical studies, and the three offers have been extended.  These three lucky ducks have until April 15th to decide.  And so that means that I, the unlucky duck, must wait until then to learn if 1) they turn the offer down and 2) if I am offered the spot. 

I’ve been on waiting lists before, and God has proven that He sovereignly controls the places and spots and offers that follow.  He’s a kind God, a good God, a tender Father who knows how to give perfect gifts to his children.  He’s not surprised, even if I am. 

The last twenty-four hours have been filled with “what-ifs” and “maybes” and “if only I had…”  You get the idea.  But then I come back to what I know to be true: God knows, I don’t, and the more I rest in this beautiful fact the more at peace I’ll be.  Although it can feel so unsettling and uncertain, the truth is that God’s sovereignty is the most settling and certain thing in the world.  He’s rescued me and ransomed me and saved me from myself…. can He not also do everything else, including opening the door to grad school and convincing one of those ducks that Minnesota is just too cold for them? 

All the world’s a stage, 

And all the men and women merely players: 

They have their exits and their entrances; 

And one man in his time plays many parts.. 

Shakespeare was right, except he missed one thing — the world is a stage, yes, a stage on which God directs the characters and events and situations for our good and His glory. 

So for now, I guess, I’ll just waltz in place, waiting for the next line to come.

But when I look back on my relatively-short life, I realize that some of the biggest blessings have come after long periods of waiting. 

My only sister – eight years.

My youngest brother – 9 months.

Being married – 13 months, 9 of which I spent away from my then-fiancee.

Answer to the question of where we’d live . . . would it be South Asia, California, Indiana, Virgina, or Minnesota – a very long summer.

My husband is an example of how to wait patiently.  He’d tell you that he’s not patient, but he really is.  When I fret and worry and complain, he reminds me to trust and be still.  He shows me what it means to surrender and be content.  I’m so thankful for his leadership.

On Monday he was offered a job at a law firm here in town.  They want him to work through this school year, next summer, and then join the firm full-time once he takes the bar.  We’re so thankful.  He starts tomorrow.

I laugh at myself, how I forget to see the bigger picture when I’m wrapped up in the small details of my small life.  None of these times of waiting  are ever a surprise to God.  He uses this waiting to test, to strengthen, to remind me to rely on Him.

Even though it’s hard, I’m thankful.  Either I can grow bitter and tired and fed up, or I can chose to trust.  My prayer is that I’ll choose the latter.

It brings joy and satisfaction… long awaited news, warm brownie fresh from the oven, a newborn baby you’ve been anticipating for nine months.

It teaches you to trust.

It reminds you of how small you really are.

It turns your eyes from yourself and to God.

Actually, waiting is one of the hardest things for me to do, whether I’m waiting for my coffee, a phone call, the return of a paper, or, especially now, a graduate school decision AND a law school graduation.

But it’s good for me.  More on that tomorrow.